It's okay to hit your own ass

Federal Ministry of Justice and Consumer Protection

Are parents allowed to do everything?

Every family has its own rules and values. If you don't stick to it or if you misbehave in some other way, there are likely to be consequences. Basically, your mother and father can decide for themselves how to raise you. The law doesn't dictate your parents here. But there are things that are not okay. What your parents are allowed to do, what not and where you as a youngster can have a say in the family - you can find the answers here.

What consequences are allowed?

You played on the computer all night and therefore banged up on the German work? You secretly went to a party even though your parents forbade it? You haven't cleared the dishwasher again even though the family was settled? It is possible that you will now be banned from computers, house arrested or pocket money withdrawn. Even if it feels like a slap in the face - legally, your parents are allowed to deal with them in this situation Forbidden punish.

When is it domestic violence?

No matter what you've done and how angry your parents are, violence is forbidden. Parents should primarily ensure that their own child can develop well and therefore you have a right to a non-violent upbringing. It says so in the Civil Code. In the event of a conflict, your family should work together to find a non-violent way to find a solution. Social interaction with one another can also strengthen your family relationship.

It stops with violence

It is quite normal that there are sometimes arguments with the family at home. But corporal punishments are an absolute no-go. Only a non-violent upbringing is legally permitted. It should promote a social, peaceful life between mother, father and child. Your Right to protection and a non-violent family life is in the foreground. A little slap, a slap in the face or aggressive grabbing are considered physical punishment. They count as domestic violence and are not allowed by law. If your parents hit or shake you, they are violating your rights as well. Your parents can deal with this behavior make it punishable. A beating or even being shackled also count as domestic violence. And even more so, your parents shouldn't hit you with a belt or other object. In the worst case, this can lead to permanent physical damage. Victims of domestic violence also often suffer from psychological and emotional injuries.
Violence can also take the form of sexual violence. That too is an absolute offense. If you are sexually abused or experience sexual assault in the family, find out more here.

What is emotional violence?

Your parents can admonish you and also scold you from time to time. But they are not allowed to kill you. The law speaks of "emotional injuries and degrading measures". It means everything that offends or humiliates you. This includes, for example, mother or father making fun of you in a mean way. When they call you a failure or a slut, or abuse you or threaten you in any other way.

Insults and humiliation are also violence

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Insults, insults, or abusive abuse from your parents fall under domestic violence. They are considered verbal violence, that is, violence through nasty utterances, abuse or insulting words. This is also the case if they just don't talk to you for a long time or treat you like air. Psychological violence, swear words or Insults can hurt you mentally just as much as a physical blow. Even if your parents take away your belongings or gifts from you, it's not okay. All of these things are physically non-violent, but a form of emotional violence. That, too, is a form of abuse.

So: the government takes the issue domestic violence very seriously. In recent years she has increasingly campaigned for a non-violent upbringing. Parents who exposed their children to violence or physical punishment were increasingly prosecuted. Whether brutal blows, a slap in the face or a slap on the bottom - all of these things are now punishable. Violence through verbal insults or verbal abuse is also not permitted.

Domestic Violence? Get help

If you think your parents are improper, you have problems at home, or experience violence in the family, you can talk to someone about it. There are many Advice offerswhere you can find support if there is domestic violence or sexual abuse in your family. You can also contact the police or the school counselor. Don't be afraid to confide in someone. You can also remain anonymous without giving your name.
Domestic violence or physical abuse by parents are violations of the child protection and never okay. Because everyone has a right to a life without violence and even more so to a non-violent upbringing. On the help page you will find many addresses and phone numbers of social help centers.

When can I have a say in the upbringing?

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The law also says that your parents should talk to you about your upbringing. How much they involve you in parenting matters depends, of course, on your age. Young children do not yet have the knowledge or experience like young people who are about to grow up. The more mature you get, the more you should be able to have a say or decide on certain topics on your own. For example, what you wear, who your friends are or how much time you spend on the computer. Finally has an educational, nonviolent upbringing towards the goal that you will one day become an independent person. And you learn that best as a teenager when you have a say in your upbringing, bit by bit.