Should be human beings
Are some people destined to be alone forever?
Being single and feeling lonely is something that people all over the world fear.
Some people are voluntarily single and have unsolved problems with themselves, while on the other hand, some are desperately trying to find love but seemingly failing every time.
One thing is certain, however: no one is destined to be alone, nor is everyone destined to find love.
We are born alone and spend most of our lives in solitude, never really loved or understood by anyone as we wish.
Many people like to romanticize relationships and become painfully disappointed as a result.
This romanticization is a result of idealizing people, relationships, and marriages, never really realizing that the main drivers of love are not passion and worship, but pain and forgiveness.
To truly love and feel loved, we have to accept that human nature is flawed and that love means accepting certain weaknesses.
No person is perfect, any more than relationships, but accepting that they are real and can never be a perfect place, but full of problems and challenges to overcome, is a good start.
Just when we think of the many moments when we turned our backs on someone because they were not perfect, not attractive enough or not enough human, we realize that love can never grow out of greed or the unwillingness to fight.
Many of us end up alone because we always hoped that love would somehow knock on our door, or because it wasn't as perfect as those other people seem to have.
In this article, we're going to talk about the things that can affect the way you perceive and receive love.
The things that keep you from finding love and having a fulfilling relationship that are slowly but surely going to teach you the principles of compassion.
After all, “the one who is loved is indeed happy, but the one who is to be envied is the one who loves no matter how little he gets back”.
1. They envy others and deny that their relationships are flawed
Most people never really talk about the negative aspects of their life, let alone the problems in their relationship.
This is why we too often believe that other people's relationships are perfect and that their partners are more compassionate and attentive than ours.
It also happens that while we are single and our friends are telling each other stories about their wonderful life and their partner, we leave out the things that they don't really like.
You will never know that the nice dinner your best friend went to was paid for by her because her partner forgot his wallet, or that your best friend's girlfriend who he says is so perfect is him cheated on his best friend.
Some just can't accept that bad things happen to everyone and that no one is really in a perfectly happy relationship.
That doesn't mean there isn't anyone out there with a decent relationship, it's just that many good relationships have problems and difficulties that come to light once the two partners are alone.
Every relationship is also exciting and beautiful in the beginning, but how do you deal with a less passionate, charged and calm relationship?
It does this by simply accepting that when the first rush of love fades away, you shouldn't panic and decide that this means a change in feelings.
Instead, one should accept it as normal and realize that love is not a constant intense feeling, but a calm emotion that gives us peace.
If we keep thinking that our love is fading and that others have something better than us, we could actually lose someone very special by believing in something that isn't even real.
Remember that although the beginning of everything is very beautiful, as is other people's lives, if you haven't lived it, the stage when you've really got to know the other person and still find them lovable in every way, is even better and sufficient.
2. You expect that your partner and your relationship will be exactly as you imagined them to be
There are simply some people who have the highest expectations when it comes to love.
That being said, it's okay to have preferences, but sometimes we can't really choose the person to be in a relationship with.
We can't and shouldn't be able to model their nature, their looks, and the way they love.
Since people tend to set unrealistic standards of others, they often stay alone and push potential partners away.
That is why many remain lonely and bitter for a long time, until someone appears who can live up to their imaginations.
But when you think about it, not everyone is lucky enough to find someone who lives up to our standards, and some may suffer a lot by the time it does.
Some may never be lucky enough to find what they imagined, and eventually people need to realize that they are dating someone else who is full of mistakes and contradictions.
Nobody is perfect and it is next to impossible to find someone who will fulfill all of your wants and expectations.
So while it is good to have healthy standards and accept no less than you think you deserve, it is important to realize that the right relationship for you doesn't necessarily have to be the perfect relationship that you have on your mind .
One day you will meet someone who will not be what you imagined, but the person who deserves your love or anything you have ever wished for and imagined, but that's just luck, in the end.
3. You tend to repeat unhealthy patterns and feel unworthy of love
Another reason you are still stuck in being single is because you have no self-esteem and are not learning your lesson.
If you have had bad experiences in past relationships, it does not mean that you are not adorable and do not deserve love, but that you should know better.
If you have gained all this knowledge but seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over again, then you really need to blame yourself once.
After all the bad things your past relationships have revealed, you should finally be able to figure them out.
Because not reacting to things that have caused you trauma in the past clearly means that you have not yet learned anything.
“Put me in once, shame on you; put me in twice, shame on me. "
Trust is also the key to any successful relationship, and when you feel that you are not enough man or woman for someone, you will push others away from you.
You can't expect someone to love you when you can't even love yourself, and your poor self-esteem could cause you more problems than you are really aware of.
Nobody is perfect, so you should never find yourself unlovable or not beautiful enough.
After all, it is not up to you to judge whether you deserve love because the right person will love you no matter what.
4. You have attachment or trust problems
Attachment problems are one of the many reasons people fail to have stable and healthy relationships.
They often fear that they might be abandoned or they feel like they can never really trust their partner.
Somehow, they set themselves up for failure even before they've really met a person or even before they've even experienced every aspect of that relationship.
When a person is struggling with attachment issues, no matter how badly the other person wants it to work, they will always find an excuse to end the relationship.
A person who has attachment problems will rather be alone and waste the potential of a relationship than reveal their true nature and concerns.
They prefer to be alone rather than appearing clingy or suspicious of their partner and the idea of a relationship.
Unfortunately, little these people know about the fact that everyone is afraid of being hurt at some point in a relationship, and that's really not a bad thing.
"Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting that they won't."
Fear is one of the strongest forces, but certainly never as strong as love if we are able to accept it.
This is worth remembering regularly: if you never commit to anyone, you will always have to face the unknown future alone.
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