How do I leave my baby's father

Separation during pregnancy: when dad leaves

Marie is pregnant and is sitting in her gynecologist's waiting room. Marie is surrounded by happy pregnant women and the daddies-to-be lovingly caress the baby bellies. She is the only one caressing her belly because her child's father has left her. Volker couldn't cope with the pregnancy: he was still so young, still had so many plans and just couldn't take on any responsibility now.

Marie strolls alone through the baby shops and envies all the parents-to-be, who choose rompers and hats together and have certainly already set up a cozy baby room. Marie is jealous and feels somehow incomplete. She has signed up for a birth preparation course for women only, so "it" is not so noticeable. Marie takes a friend with her to the information evening in the maternity hospital, because she otherwise feels lost among all the parents looking at the delivery room in awe. Your friend will be there for the birth.

Reasons for separating dads during pregnancy

Dads who leave their pregnant partner do so for individual reasons. They claim that this is simply not the time to be a father. You feel too young or too old. Some fear that the child could limit their lives and they will not be able to cope with the financial losses. Others fear the changes in the sexual realm. There are also men who cannot cope with the pregnancy symptoms such as bad temper, mood swings, frequent crying or the nest-building instinct that indicates the intensification of the couple relationship and who flee. And some leave their partner alone because she is expecting a disabled child and they shy away from this task.

Influence of the father on the development of the child

Fathers can have a positive influence on the course of pregnancy and even if some feel excluded from the close mother-child dyad, they can still make contact with the baby in the womb. The baby knows daddy's voice and enjoys massages of the baby bump. And children develop with a dedicated. loving father just better. They are more independent, more competent and less anxious, have better grades, are more popular and more satisfied than children who do not know their father or only from a distance.

If, as a father-to-be, you are thinking about separating from your partner, you should first analyze the causes and look for solutions in a conversation with your partner, other fathers, your own father or a counseling center. There is also a book by men for men that explains pregnancy and childbirth in a man-friendly way and addresses your worries and fears:

Richter, Robert / Schäfer, Eberhard (2005): The Papa Handbook. Everything you need to know about pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of three. Gräfe and Unzer Verlag, Munich

Photo: © Dmitriy Melnikov -

Single parents in Dortmund
Single parents in Dresden
Single parents in Duisburg