What's so great about coffee
There seem to be two types of people in this world. Those who get up every morning, go through a routine and then leave home for the office. And then there are apparently people who wake up as wild beasts, on the verge of nervous breakdown and completely unsightly until a small ingredient miraculously transforms them into functioning human beings: a cup of coffee, no, THE cup of coffee.
There is hardly a drink in the western world that is so glorified and celebrated as coffee. The brown broth should not only help against tiredness and promote digestion, but work real miracles: It gives us social skills, equips us for a long day at the computer and for endless meetings, and oh yes, it smells so wonderful. One could almost believe that the next thing that will bring us world peace is the hot drink.
Sounds completely absurd? Exactly. Your fellow human beings, who do not consume coffee - yes, they do exist - find your unconditional love for and dependence on the brown broth that drips from the outdated, moldy office coffee machines in the mornings and spills around in your cups and ugly stains on the table, so absurd leaves behind.
Coolness and cosmopolitan bustle through coffee
Sure, there should be people who actually experience slight withdrawal symptoms if they have to go without caffeine for several days - but shouldn't that serve as a wake-up call? Other addictions such as cigarettes, drugs, alcohol and the Internet are always discussed as problem topics, but coffee is a socially accepted addiction, even reinforced by society, which also gives you the necessary touch of coolness and cosmopolitan bustle. Admittedly, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes can lead to illness and death, while according to some studies, coffee consumption can even have positive effects on the body. Most of the self-proclaimed coffee followers could probably still get along wonderfully without the drink, deliver full performance at work and save the few euros for the daily coffee at the coffee store. Instead, coffee has been chosen to be the catalyst for any positive event that can happen to you during the day.
The fact that we all have our heads bowed, our eyes fixed on the screen of our smartphones, sitting in the subway in the morning or walking across the street, is for many the decline of culture, a true apocalypse. That we cover the same distances clinging to our coffee mug, always in danger of spilling either ourselves or the passenger, is somehow okay again. At least a movement has now emerged from taking your own recycling cup with you on your daily trip, and many cafés support this with reduced prices.
Coffee is omnipresent even in childhood. It is this magical drink that mom consumes every day. But you can only sip it yourself - and it usually tastes terribly bitter. But no sooner have you reached a certain age than you can count yourself among the chosen ones who persuade themselves, with coffee mug in hand, to be more active and better members of society - and most people still join in. Because stress and hustle and bustle signal that you have arrived in life, that you are effective and productive and that you are working on your career. Anything else would be unacceptable, a form of failure and inadequacy.
The alternatives are probably not cool enough
Let's replace the coffee with something else, let's say broccoli, for example. Assuming this unpopular vegetable has a similar, let's call it effect, like coffee - the colleague would then stand in the office and say something like: "Please don't talk to me before I have eaten my good morning broccoli" or even "Without my plate of broccoli in the morning, I'm only half a person"? A few suggestions: go jogging in the morning, take a cold shower or eat a bowl full of fruit. Too exhausting? Too uncomfortable? Sure, you'd better use the button on the coffee machine when you're sleepy.
And anyway: why on earth do all coffee drinkers in the world get up so exhausted, are generally in a bad mood and cannot speak their own language shortly after the alarm clock goes off? You have just slumbered for hours in the realm of dreams, reduced most of the activities in your body to almost zero - what on earth was so bad about waking up as a monster? Unless you're suffering from sleeping sickness or were at a party the night before that got out of hand, there's next to no excuse to act like the Grinch until you've had a cup of some liquid.
Go out into the world and enjoy your coffee!
No, the author of this text has nothing against coffee. Go out into the world and have coffee. Make an appointment with friends in one of those oh-so-bad Berlin-Mitte cafes that serve sustainable Third Wave Coffee and drink one or more of them together. Sit alone in a café with a book, eBook or laptop and drink a latte macchiato, treat yourself to an espresso after dinner. But please don't make a simple hot drink so much more than it is. Stop telling yourself that coffee drives you to peak performance and makes you a better person. In all honesty: People who claim to be a full member of our society and an effective part of a team after they have drunk one or more cups of a liquid enriched from ground beans do not really want to be with their colleagues and Counting friends.
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