Why I shouldn't share my goals
Finding Personal Goals - A Guide
Some time ago I stumbled upon the following quote:
It can't be that I was born just to pay my bills and die.
At first I had to laugh, but then I started to think - really. Because for me this quote describes the problem of our generation incredibly well.
We have a school leaving certificate so that we can become something smart. We do an apprenticeship, we study - but often only so that we have something in hand.
Only a few have a real perspective.
That might sound a bit harsh now, but let's be honest. Do you have an exact idea how you want to live in 10 years, what you want to change and achieve?
Why do you need goals at all?
If you look around you will find that successful people from all walks of life set goals.
Setting goals for yourself provides you with a long-term vision and short-term motivation - especially over dry spells. And unfortunately they keep coming back from time to time.
If you know your goals, you can use your time and energy in a targeted manner, you can acquire specific knowledge and you can align your life so that it does exactly what it should: make you happy!
In short: Your personal goals will help you get the best out of your life.
Would you like to look back 60 years from now and smile with satisfaction or would you rather let it depend on the fact that there are things that you regret?
You have so much freedom, the whole world is open to you, if you set goals, you use these opportunities.
How do you find your personal goals?
Step 1: Free yourself from the demands that other people have on you
The most important thing in finding your goals is that they really are YOUR own goals.
Nobody else can and may decide how YOU want to live YOUR life.
Not your partner, your parents or your environment. None!
If everyone in your family has been a doctor, but you would much rather work in a toy store because the children's smile makes you happy like nothing, you should do that.
If your environment is of the opinion that business studies is the safe option, although you would like to make a living from writing or painting, show them the bird and do your own thing.
Step 2: think about the bigger picture
Think about what you want to achieve in your life. What do you want to create, experience, where do you want to be?
Surely you've done a puzzle before, haven't you? When making jigsaw puzzles, you usually sort according to edge pieces and inner pieces, according to colors. And that's exactly how you do it with your goals.
A big problem with goal setting is often that you cannot imagine how things will be in 30 or 40 years or when you have a precise idea of how you will get there.
This often leads to the fact that you vaguely know your goals (“I want to have a chair at the university”, “I want to make a living from writing”, “I want a big house with a garden and two dogs”), but discourage you because everything is so far away and undefined.
Let's stay with the jigsaw puzzle: Even before you start putting the pieces together, you can see the finished picture on the packaging. And although you can't see much on the individual small parts, you know that they all come together in the right place at the end of the day.
It is the same with your life goals. Do not be discouraged once your goal appears wild to you. We'll get there!
Step 3: Get a comprehensive overview
It is important that you do not leave out any area when setting your personal goals.
Focusing on your career can lead your family to fall by the wayside.
Just thinking about artistic development may mean that you can earn your living poorly rather than well.
And education at any price can manifest itself in the fact that your body withers away and becomes only a means of transport for your brain.
So take each of these categories (and of course others that are important to you) in front of you and ask yourself questions about them:
Family: Does your relationship make you happy? What does family mean to you? Do you want children? If so, how would you like to raise them. Can you imagine having children with your current partner? Do you have a special idea of how you would like to combine career and family, or is one of the two more important to you? How would you like to be seen and treated by your partner and extended family?
Career: How far do you want to rise? Which positions / titles do you want to achieve? When do you want to retire? How long do you want to work? Are you happy in your job? Would you like to work independently or as an employee? If money didn't exist, would you still get up every morning and work in your job?
(Further education: Which titles or qualifications do you want to achieve? Is there an educational goal that pursues you? Would you like to study (something else)? Would you like to learn another profession?
Money: How much money do you want to earn and at what point in your career? What does this mean for the alignment of your professional goals? How do you want to earn the money?
Art: Do you want to achieve artistic goals? For which art would you like to create space in your life? Is there something that you've always wanted to try, like singing or painting?
Behavior: Is there a part of your personality that prevents you from being the best you can be? Is there something holding you back that is making you unhappy? Do you have a trait that you would most like to get rid of? What could you do to change that?
Joy: How do you want to enjoy your life? What are you doing just for yourself? Which “institutions” in your life make you happy even though they are of no use to others?
Body: Are there any sporting goals that you would like to achieve? Do you want to be healthy into old age? Are you overweight? Do you suffer from pain? What steps can you take to change something?
For others: What talents do you have? Would you like to use them to make the world more beautiful? If so, how could you do that?
A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.
Step 4: Set partial goals
Once you've forged your plan, you can start breaking down your big goals into stages.
For every major goal, ask yourself: "What steps do I have to take to reach my goal?"
Break down your life goals into a 5-year plan, then make a 1-year plan, a half-year plan and finally a monthly plan.
The stages are getting smaller and smaller, but also more and more tangible and - this is the best - more and more realistic.
You are no longer a 60-year-old who is still quite fit, but sign up for a fitness course that starts next month.
You don't dream of going into business forever because you have had a great idea with you for years, but make an appointment with the tax advisor to get specific information.
If you have arrived at a to-do list for the first steps on the way to your lifelong dream, you will probably get annoyed because you did not go this route earlier.
Step 5: Check achievement of objectives
Even if it's really great at first when you have set personal goals - that's only half the battle.
Because a goal that you do not meet is not worth the paper on which it is written.
Check at regular intervals how successful you have been in achieving your goals.
If your goal was too easy to achieve, set yourself a more difficult one next time - it should always be an incentive!
If your goal - what feels like it - takes 100 years, divide it into smaller stages so that you don't run out of breath on the home straight.
When you have learned a lesson from one goal, apply it to your other goals.
If you need an important quality / knowledge or expertise to achieve a goal, decide whether you can create a new goal from acquiring that knowledge.
IMPORTANT: If you find that a goal has become completely irrelevant to you, don't be afraid to put it aside. You are not Moses, your goals are not set in stone! They should make you happy and that also means that you determine them and not the other way around.
Your life is changeable and, as we discovered last week, always in flux. Don't make anything rigid out of it!
6 guidelines for goal setting + goal achievement
Positivity: Formulate your goals positively (e.g. "I want to be slim" instead of "I don't want to be so fat")
Measurability: “I want my partner to love me forever”, for example, is an immeasurable goal that you may find totally frustrating because it is beyond your power to achieve it. You can work on the mutual relationship, but of course there is never a guarantee. Instead, set yourself the goal of “I want to have a full relationship.” A first step could be: “I take time out for a date with my partner once a week”.
precision: Set yourself realistic time frames for your goals, so on the one hand you can measure them and on the other hand you have to come to the rescue - win-win! Also state your goals as clearly as possible. "I want to be happier" is a very nice and important goal, but it is difficult to name the first step.
Priorities: Give each of your goals a priority. This way you make sure that you don't feel completely overwhelmed by all the to-do lists, plans and goals. And you will find it easier to focus your attention on the things that are most important to you!
Write down: Write down your goals, that makes them even more tangible!
Bit by bit:The dose makes the poison - this also applies to the stages of your goals. Do not make the partial steps too big, otherwise you may run out of breath along the way!
And now we can start, because no, you were not born to pay your bills and to die.
You were born to be happy and to make the very best of your life.
Would you like to tell me about one of your life goals in the comments? Do not hold back! No matter how crazy it may seem to you! (The sky is the limit!)
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